5 Hour Energy Drink is Aliens Royal Jelly

I tried this 5 hour energy drink a few days ago.  The first thing I thought of was a graphic comic novel I had read way back in 1991 or so.  It was Aliens: Genocide.

In it a billionaire sets up a team to go to the Aliens Home planet to supposedly destroy them.  However, once there he has alternate plans.  He plans to steal the Alien Queen to take her Royal Jelly.  Here is a synopsis:

On Earth, after a generation of rebuilding in the wake of alien infestation, athletes from every corner of the world are flocking to humanity’s Goodwill Games. But some come with a dangerous new tool: a drug called Fire, distilled from the very essence of the aliens’ body chemistry. Fire is a drug that’s addictive and enhances human senses and is made of the Queen’s Royal Jelly.

 

So what does that have to do with this 5 hour energy drink?  Simple.  I theorize that the Alien threat is very real and that this drink is a direct dirivitive of that Queen Royal Jelly!

Upon opening the bottle, it’s pinkish in color.

Upon drinking the contents, I immediatly felt energy surge thoughout.

I then felt tingly sensations all over my hands, that quickly went away.  Were my senses becoming heightened?  I’m not sure.  About an hour later I sure did feel gitty as hell.  And excited about anything I was talking about.

I’m not addicted though.

And just in case the photo does not show up clearly it contains:

2 flouid ounces

4 Calories

30 mg of Niacin (150% daily value)

40mg of Vitamin B6 (2000% daily value)

400mcg of Folic Acid (100% daily value)

500 mcg of Vitamin B12 (8333% daily value)

19mg of Sodium (less than 1% daily value).

It also boasts to have enough caffine equal to that of a regular cup of coffee.

But, no I’m not adicted.

Yeah, I put two and two together.  I’m convinved that Aliens are real and that this stuff is made of the Royal Jelly.

I did find myself going to buy a 6-pack of the stuff tho.

Maybe I am adicted.

 

Damnit.

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