Noctimania Gothic Clothing (UK)

It seems ZombieMall.com is making some new friends across the pond!
I got a pretty nifty email about a company over in the United Kingdom a few days ago. They are known as Noctimania Gothic Clothing. I had a look at their site and let me tell you, knowing they make all that by hand themselves is impressive! I’m a major fan of the smaller “mom & pop” shops. I’ve been in retail most of my life, and I always have to take my hat off to anyone who gives it a go.

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Who is Noctimania Gothic Clothing?

Noctimania Gothic Clothing is a UK based company and are suppliers of gothic and alternative clothing primarily to the UK goth scene. They have been manufacturing and selling original and traditional gothic clothing for years and have now decided to venture online in order to better suit the modern marketplace.gothic11

What kind of clothing do you do?

We design and manufacture our own exclusive range of gothic and alternative clothing from the highest quality fabrics. All of our garments are designed to fit and compliment sizes 10-26.

While most retailers of gothic clothing seem to think that 14 is a plus size, we strongly disagree and know that this is not the case. Therefore instead of simply enlarging garments initially only designed to suit the smaller figure, our collection is designed with the individual figures of size 10-26 women in mind.

Dude, now that’s rockin!

the Official Zombie Handbook (UK) - Review

We all know that when this plague of zombies hits, it’s going to hit hard.  We also know that there is a good chance that it can go global.  What we don’t know is when or where the first outbreak will occur.  I and my ZombieMall.com website are based in the United States, that’s just by chance for me.  I’ve got a plan for survival, as most of my readers should for their particular area.  I took Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide and read it cover to cover.  There were some things I already knew and a few things I learned.

The topic of survival is always interesting to me, right on down to watching shows like The Colony and Survivor Man.  I suppose my interest in them is because it shows survivor tools in various parts of the world.

I’ll let that be a segway into a book I got in the mail this past weekend; The Official Zombie Handbook (UK) - A Ministry of Zombies book by Sean T. Page.

Official Zombie Handbook

While the book itself references many United Kingdom locations and terms, the information contained within is universal to getting prepared before, during, and after the plague hits.  Please allow me to impress upon you that this book is not a rehash of Max Brooks’ book, not in any way.  Sean T. Page goes into such detail and reflection that the line between fact and fiction does not seem to exist.

“But I live in South America, why do I need a book that is based in the UK?”


Dude, it’s about freakin zombie survival!  Of course you need it!  Look, as I mentioned, yes, it references many United Kingdom locations, terms, and conditions, but the information overall is Universal.  The Royal Navy may not exist where you live, but the topic of your water-going military’s evacuation plan is pertinent information, that topic in this book is insight you need to know!

Listen, I got the Official Zombie Handbook (UK) on Saturday, within 2 days I had it read from cover to cover.  That’s not to say it’s a fast read, I just tend to read fast.  But here’s the cool part about this book:  You don’t have to read it from beginning to end straight through.  You can certainly pop open the book and pick a subject and begin reading (personally I love books like that).

All in all I would have to say this book is a must have for any zombie enthusiast.  You can find it on Amazon.com and for further information you can visit the Ministry of Zombies site as well.

The only thing I can say about this one that is negative is that my site is not listed on page 188.  Oh well, perhaps in the next Ministry of Zombies book, because, Sean, you gotta keep on writing my friend!

Lastly, I just want to say to Sean, thanks for the read and..

Stay Scary!

-Brian Hardin II

www.ZombieMall.com

Devil - M. Night Shyamalan

 

What would happen if 5 strangers got into an elevator, the power surges for a moment, and one of the people gets a large bite taken out of their back? 

On August 17th we will find out in Devil, a movie from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan.  No, he did not direct it, no he did not write the screenplay, but it is his story.

Some say his movies as of late have not done that well.  Signs, I loved it.  Lady in the Water, I loved it.  The Happening, it was okay, I think it needed more developing and less “let’s just look at each other”.  Last Airbender, didn’t see it, don’t care to see it (but I understand why he did it and it has done over $160 million so far - I’m just not an anime fan).

But keep in mind, Devil is just based on a story he came up with.  Brian Nelson (of Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night) wrote the screenplay and The Dowdle Brothers (most noteable Quarantine and The Poughkeepsie Tapes) are directing it.

I’m excited about it.  I’ll go see it opening day for sure.  And keep in mind one thing:

Bad things happen for a reason.

Inception (place ideas here)

Okay, I’ll admit it right off, Inception is not a horror film. It is, however, a Sci-Fi film. Albeit, not hardcore Sc-Fi, but it does deal with entering people’s dreams. With that said, Sci-Fi and Horror are at the core sisters to each other.. Thus we have ZombieMall’s view of Inception.

Leonardo DiCaprio stars in the film Inception, directed and written by Christopher Nolan (of Memento, Batman, Dark Knight fame).
The Plot: In a world where technology exists to enter the human mind through dream invasion, a single idea within one’s mind can be the most dangerous weapon or the most valuable asset.

Look, I’ve always been interested in dreams and what they mean. I’ve got a massive Dream Catcher, several books on interpreting dreams, and countless notebooks full of jotted down dreams and nightmares from my own mind (but now they could be of someone else’s influence). In short, I got into this movie right off the bat. I’ve been at practice with myself for over 25 years learning how to control my own dreams. Sometimes I can, sometimes I cannot.

What Incpetion introduces goes beyond simply control of your own dreams. At some point in the future, as the Plot above suggests, there exists the technology to enter someone’s dreams and extract information. Moreover there exists the technology for several people to join together to share a dream.

Evidently the business of entering someone’s dreams to extract information is illegal and as such business opportunities exist. For Cobb, DiCaprio’s character, this is exactly what he does. He is supposed to be the best of the best at entering someone’s dreams and extracting that information.

A new opportunity is presented to him about incerting information into someone’s subconscious, this is the core of Inception.

There are many layers to this movie, and I’ll be the first to admit, you gotta pay attention! It’s clocks in at just over Two and a Half hours, so if you gotta go pee, I suggest you pee in your Coke cup. If you get the munchies, bring in some extra pop-corn or contraband candy. There is a lot going on here and you cannot miss even one second of it.

However, with it having such a complex storyline, it is surprisingly linear in explanation. My only complaint is that it should have been at least 6 hours longer. Character development was okay, Cobb was very well developed but not so much with the rest of the cast. The plot did not exactly keep me guessing, but the idea behind it is what drove it for me.

While the movie takes place within dreams I would have enjoyed seeing more of the fantastical side of that; in mine I can fly, I can teleport, I can create, when fighting someone I can trap them, etc. There are many situations in which a lot more could have been done with that idea. And of course the nightmare aspect. I would have loved to have seen them venture into the nightmare of someone. Inception 2 perhaps? I doubt that. Would be too much like my wait for Memento 2.

Yeah, I guess that’s where my mind can go wild, I see many more possibilies to add on to it that the average screen watcher is willing to sit down and watch.

All in all, go out and see this movie. I’d pay full price to see it. In fact, I might just go do that again right now!

Predators Movie Review

A scene from the movie. Sortav.
A scene from the movie. Sortav

7-10-10

Sometimes horror movies suck.  Sometimes horror movies are just plain boring.  Sometimes horror movies just don’t live up to their name of horror.  However, sometimes horror movies can be just out and out fun.

I am almost hesitant to mark Predators up to being a horror film, but, in essence it is.  Sci-Fi horror if you will.  Sure it’s not as horrific as Event Horizon, but I think Predators can share this category as well.

With that said, let’s get one thing out of the way first: Don’t go see this because you anticipate the next Robert Rodriguez film.  Yes, the TV advertises that it’s his movie.  It’s only kindav his movie tho.  He was only 1 of 3 Producers of the movie. 

Okay, now that that is out of the way: On to the Review (and yes, I’ll try to avoid any spoilers)!

All of the hype makes this movie take place as if there was not Predator 2 or Predator vs Aliens, etc.  But to be honest, it would not matter anyways.  We are dropped into a jungle setting and watch as the characters get together, total strangers in a strange place.  They each have personal issues to resolve with each other but quickly overcome them once they figure out they are being hunted.

The cinematography is nothing spectacular to write home about (or write a blog about for that matter), the character development is very lacking, the dialogue is spaced out in very long dramatic pauses.  To be honest, I would have liked to have seen a little more development of a couple of the characters (Laurence Fishburne for example.  Oh and Danny Trejo).

But aside from technical aspects, the movie was just out and out fun.  I went in not looking for much, not expecting much (see previous recent movie reviews), and left quite satisfied with what I saw.  I doubt I’ll run out and grab it on DVD when it comes out..  On the other hand, if there are deleted scenes maybe I’ll Netflix it.

There is also a slight new twist to the Predator Lore.  Fans of the comics and novels will already know this but in the movie there are two tribes at war with each other, a Blood War.  I felt that could have been a more important aspect of the movie, but they just went right on by that road at about 60 miles an hour.

Yes, I did have some minor “issues” with the movie (plot holes?) but I’ll save that for a few days so as not to give away too many spoilers.

To that end, if you are a fan of the Predator movies (and Alien movies), go see this, you will have fun.

Now all we need is a new Terminator with Arnold “being back” as the bad robot!

 

EDIT- 7/21/2010

SPOLIERS

The scene in the photo above?  With the dozzens of Predator targets?  Never happened!  There was just 1 target on him!  The preview made me think we were going to see PredatorS as in many many many!  instead we got to see 4 or 5.

They talked about 2 “clans” of Predators.  I wanted to see more about that!

Turns out Laurence Fishburne’s character is just crazy (I guess being alone on a planet will do that to you) and is only in the film for about 12 minutes.

I’ve got more issues, but they’d just be me nitpicking.  It really is a fun movie despite my complaints.

Retractable Vampire Fangs

Are you a fan of True Blood?  Head over heals in love with Dracula?  Infatuated with that twisted (vampires don’t sparkle!) thing called Twi…  Twili…  bah, Twilight?  Just want to enjoy your LARP a bit more?  Then you gotta check this shit out!

Can You Imagine having the ability to custom fit a pair of vampire Fangs and to make them appear & disappear? We Did! Introducing the ZombieMall Retractable Vampire Fangs.

Check out the video:

You can also find that video on YouTube and you can purchase these Retractable Vampire Fangs on ZombieMall.com.

Don’t forget, Halloween is just around the corner!

Dead Set review - sometimes you gotta leave Hollywood

Sometimes you gotta leave Hollywood behind.

Recently you will notice that most of my movie reviews have had me going off on how inadequate Hollywood has become.  I’ve had this one film sitting on my self for a good while now and tonight I finally watched it.  I am talking about is the TV mini-series written by Charlie Brooker called Dead Set.

dead set still

 

Based on a fictional set of Big Brother taking place in the United Kingdom, Dead Set pushes the envelop well beyond anything that American audiences could deal with on network television.  I’d wager good money that you would be hard pressed to find even a cable channel willing to air anything like this without toning down the gore and violence.  Perhaps on HBO or Cinemax.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about this film (I’ll call it a film even though it was originally aired over a 5 day period as a TV mini-series).

We begin with the setup; we are behind the scenes of a Big Brother episode.  It’s an eviction night and the producer, Patrick (Andy Nyman), is as about as rude as they come.  Sure he has pressure, but you learn to dislike him from the get-go.  Kelly (Jamie Winstone), is the gopher - go for this, go for that, get coffee, run some copies, etc.  You immediately like her (she is also the one in the photo above).

Okay, so the pressure is on, and one of the contestants is evicted.  There is a threat of a newscast preempting the show and that of course is the queue for zombies to show up.

What follows is a myriad of fast moving filming, (I will warn you that there is a lot of camera shaking, something I don’t mind as I feel it gives it a little more..  ‘you are really here with us’ type of feeling - but I can see where some would not like it and perhaps get a bit motion sick) general chaos, and bloody mayhem.

Listen, these are Zombie we are dealing with, not people who peddle flowers.  There is blood.  There is violence.  There are smashed skulls, ripped flesh, spilled entrails, and loads of chopped bodies.   When I say it’s gory, I mean it.  This guy is not Rated G.  It’s Rated R all the way.

The storyline is mediochre, it’s not original, but it’s presented in a very zombie-fan-fun way.  What I mean by that is, it’s about people trapped in a location and are held within because of well, zombies.

Now for the extra zombie-fan-fun part.  Although the film probably has nothing to do with it, I can certainly imagine that this takes place in the same time frame and universe that the Snyder version of Dawn of the Dead remake took place.  Even fits in perfectly with the 28 Days Later time frame.  Again, I’m not saying that’s what Dead Set is, it’s not.  I’m just saying that in my view it is easy to imagine them all taking place at the same time.

All in all, grab a copy and follow the instructions; watch it in wide-screen and in a darkened room.  If you are a zombie fan, this is a MUST SEE.

Zombie University to give away FREE Parking Pass

Tired of Zombie University Security harassing you when you drive onto campus?  Now all you need is to place this FREE Parking Pass in your window and they will leave you be!  Vicar de Mortii, Brian Hardin II, had this to say:

“Even I was not immune to Security, I can’t begin to count how many times over the years I’ve been stopped and I run this University!  Finally now I can park where I need to park and not be harassed!  It’s about damn time!”

You can download yours for FREE here: Zombie University Parking Pass Front  &  Zombie University Parking Pass Back

All you need to do is cut along the dotted lines.  For a better look and to prevent bleed-through print on card stock.

The Creeping Flesh Review

With my recent dissappointments with Hollywood, I decided to go Old School…

It starts off on a dark and stormy night…

Rain is pouring down outside, I had been promised a night out to a restaurant of my choosing, and then a night out to the movies. I picked that place where the big rat sings his ass off, you know the place, “where a kid can be a kid”.  I also picked the movie “Back to the Future” to go see.  I’m probably about 12 year old, which would have made the year 1985…  Having my fill of pizza and soda pop I am happily riding back in the car to head off to the movies.  Suddenly I get this weird feeling.  Something in my gut.  I speak up and tell my uncle that I don’t feel like going to the movies.  (In my mind I was swearing up and down that something horrid was going to happen at the movie theatre, I was convinced that a shoot out or a fire was going to break out)  He never questioned my reasoning for not wanting to go so we headed to my grandparents house.  They are gone for the weekend, but my uncle was house sitting for them, so that is where we went.  They had a garage so the only time we got wet was from the run from the restaurant to the car.

Once inside I plopped down on the couch and my uncle turned on the TV.  He was cool.  He would let me watch movies that my mom would never allow.  Porkies, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask, Various Monty Python movies, Benny Hill, The Exorcist, Amityville Horror, stuff like that.  Tonight was no different for it was the night I saw The Creeping Flesh for the first time…

 

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In a way this movie helped to shape my view of the horror genre.  The Creeping Flesh, released in the USA the same year I was born, 1973 (which is why I’m a bit partial to it), was directed by Freddie Francis.  The two bigger names in the film were Peter Cushing (he plays Emmanuel Hildern) and Christopher Lee (plays Emmanuel’s brother James Hildern).

The movie starts off with a scientist, Emmanuel, telling a tale to a research assistant.  He recounts something that happened 3 years prior (1893).  He had just returned home from an expedition to New Guinea where he found the skeletal remains of a large humanoid creature, he reefers to it as a primitive man.  He further goes on to say that he has broken research that will reveal the “ultimate evil” and that the skeleton is the key to unlocking that evil.  We also learn that Emmanuel has a wife and a daughter (her name is Penelope).  His wife has been locked in an insane asylum, but the daughter was told that she died, for Emmanuel feared that she would not understand why her mother was locked away.  Emmanuel’s brother, James, runs the asylum.

Through flashbacks we learn that Emmanuel’s wife was not entirely crazy, rather she was more addicted to sex and during that time period (remember this is in the mid 1880’s) it is assumed that women who crave sex must be insane.  Fearing that Penelope is going to run into the same “sickness” as her mother, Emmanuel has forbidden her to leave the house for any lengths of time.  James then reports to Emmanuel that his was has died while being in the asylum.

Emmanuel sets to cleaning the skeleton and washes one of the fingers with water.  Oddly it begins to grow flesh upon that digit right before him.  Thinking quickly he snaps the finger off before the flesh can “creep” it’s way to the rest of the skeleton.  From that pulpy finger he extracts blood and discovers “black blood cells” that seem to devour the red blood cells.  He deduces that this is the very manifestation of evil itself.

From those black blood cells Emmanuel makes a serum as a “cure” for the biological evil.  During this time Penelope is showing major curiosities about her mother. Emmanuel decides to “inoculate” his daughter, but what it does to her is a far cry from purging her of evils.  She dons one of her mother’s dresses and rushes out into the night.  She uses her sexuality to lure a man close to her then proceeds to give him a brutal slaying.  Emmanuel rushes out into the night to find her, only to find a major thunderstorm beginning.

James, desperate to win a medical prize, decides to steal the skeleton.  Thunder is booming, lightning is flashing, rain is pouring down in torrents as the skeleton is taken from Emmanuel’s home and loaded into a horse drawn carriage.  Roads were evidently not the best back then, and because of a few ill-placed rocks the carriage is overturned exposing the skeleton to those torrents of raindrops.  Flesh begins to grow like wild, unleashing this walking “evil” unto the world.

The ending has a major narrative twist, something that the ending of Saw reminded me of the first time I saw it, but this would not be very interesting if I flat out gave that away.  This is a low budget film, and was made back in the early 1970’s, so viewers should watch it with a slight grain of suspension of disbelief.

When I heard this was coming out on DVD a few years back, I was at my local movie store and bought the first copy.  I had not seen it since that night at my grandparents back in the 80’s and feared I had made it out to be something far more spectacular that I thought it was at the time.  I brought it home and watched it and was not disappointed.  It is now on my mandatory movies to watch each and every Halloween.

Nightmare on Elm St. Review

Ever since I heard that Nightmare on Elm St. was going to be remade, I must admit that I was very excited.

nightmare

Now I must admit that my faith in the Hollywood Remakes has left me bitter and pretty much at a point where I’m actually willing to pass on seeing anything at the movies for a while.

Rob Zombie’s remake of Halloween was good (the first one, but it’s sequal blew ass).

The remake of Friday the 13th sucked ass (yet I hear they are doing a Part II to it).

And this remake of Nightmare is right there with them.  Why oh why have I allowed my faith in Hollywood to stand?  No more!  I am beyond pissed!

Remember in my previous post: Nightmare on Elm Street Remake - my thoughts where I said it better not suck?  Well, it sucked.  In fact, it was flat out BORING and did not once give it an original take on the storyline.  As someone else put it, “Ironically, a movie about having nightmares when you dream very nearly put me to sleep!”

In essence whoever wrote the script (I’m not even going to bother looking it up because at this point I simply just don’t give a shit), basically took the original, sliced it up (pun intended), taped it together a little out of order, and filmed it.  Hell, even a lot of the lines were exactly the same. 

 

I was looking for pure horror, blood, guts, you name it.  What I got instead was something that should have been Rated PG-13.  I think the only reason it got an R is because of the use of the word ‘Fuck’.  Freddy’s one liners were there, something I really wish they had done away with:

“Why are you screaming, I’ve not even cut you yet.”

“I’m your boyfriend now.”

blah blah blah.

All in all, save your money.  Go buy a classic horror instead, The Creeping Flesh comes to mind.  In fact, I think I’ll go watch it now.