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The Fresh/Fast Zombie.

Okay, the terms Fresh, Fast and Zombie seem to contradict themselves a bit don’t they? But sit back and think about it for a moment. What dictates how fast (or slow) a zombie can move? Just like humans, zombies have muscles. Older zombies, say those that have been dead for several weeks are starting to expierence muscle atrophy, poor blood circulation to the muscle or muscle groops, lack of oxygen (zombies breathe just not as often as a human would which is how they can muster moans and growls), poor diets (let’s face it in the mind of a zombie almost anything can be considered food – you try feasting on tree bark or a discarded motorcycle tire and see how sluggish you move), and lack of excercize. All of that can contribute to a Zombie’s movement.
However…
What about the newly formed Zombies, IE the Fresh/Fast Zombie? Let’s say you and your buddy were digging through a local grocery store for supplies, a zombie jumps out of a back room and sinks it’s teeth into your buddy. You buddy has just become a Fresh/Fast Zombie.
Now, he has not been dead for weeks or months, or even hours. He just turned like, 10 minutes ago!
He still has oxygen in his system, his muscles are still in good order, and now he has this burning need to feast on your flesh. Guess what? He is not going to just slowly meander his way over to you just because that’s what the old traditional zombie films tell you he will do.
Instead he is going to use every tool in his arsenal to get to you. That means speed. He is going to run at you as quickly as his muscles will allow.

The Fresh/Fast Zombie is truely a frightening form of the zombie. Panic can set it quickly and cause you to miss the head shot when you see a throng of them rushing you. In a situation like this, take out their legs first. It won’t kill them, but it might just slow them down long enough for you to get the hell away from them.

Preview of What is a Zombie? Part Seven:
The Old/Slow Zombie.

The Viral Zombie.

The Viral Zombie is perhaps the most popular of zombie categories for one main reason. Regardless of the type of zombie you are dealing with, be it a Rage Zombie, a Toxic Zombie,or the famous Romero Zombie, they all have one thing in common. Their bite can potentially infect others to rise up as a zombie as well.
Much like the Komodo Dragon’s bite, the Zombie’s mouth is full of bacteria and viral agents that once any of that putrid toxic filth enters a living humans blood stream, it’s only a matter of time before they die and come back as a Zombie.
The evidence that we have seen is that in order to contract this Zombie Virus, it has to enter your body somehow. Blowing a Zombie’s brains out and getting a splash of blood on your arm, you should be okay as long as you wipe it off immediatly and have no open wounds. If you have an open wound, avoid getting any Zombie blood in it, you are a goner for sure, unless you have the testicular fortitude to chop off the limb that has the wound, and I mean within seconds of Zombie blood contact. Kissing a Zombie, out of the question. Having sex with a Zombie… Why even go there, if you are gonna try to get your jollies off with an act of this nature, just jump on out there and become a Zombie all ready.
Because the Viral Zombie can spread it’s “zombieness” so quickly, this also leads to a very dangerous form of Zombie; Fresh/Fast Zombies (which we will discuss in detail in the Part Six of this series).

Preview of What is a Zombie? Part Six:
The Fresh/Fast Zombie.

The Rage Zombie.

I have come to terms with this and have openly accepted it as a new classification of Zombie.
The Rage Zombie was one born of pure, unchecked, rage, and anger. Made famous in the movie “28 Days Later”, the Rage Zombie was induced by a chemical reaction of sorts created in a lab. Imagine taking away all of your pleasures, the joy of holding someone’s hand, the pleaure of a gentile caress on the cheek, the familiar scent of a flower, the satisfying taste of your favorite food, the embrace of a loved one. Have all of that stripped away from you, leaving behind only resentment and extreme anger.
This is the basis of the Rage Zombie. All the Rage Zombie knows is hunger. Family, gone. Day to day routine, gone. Recognition, gone. The need to feast violently on anything is all that is left.

For a long time, I, personally, refused to accept that the Rage Zombie was a real classification of Zombie. However, After a few years of considering the characteristics, I will be the first to admit that I now welcome them into the realm of Classic Zombie lore.

Afterall, what is a zombie? A creature that has the need to consume, driven on regardless of reason, they have the need to consume. The Rage Zombie is no different. I realize that now. They are able to spread their “disease” through contact just like any other zombie. However, therein lies one of the biggest differences.

In all other Zombie cases, regardless of type (save for the Voodoo Zombie), their “condition” is passed on by a bite or fluid transfer. The Rage Zombie does the same thing, HOWEVER… Other “future” zombies actually die before they rise again to search for “food”. The Rage Zombie is instantaneous. In same cases a simple drop of blood, less than a gram, can convert a healthy human into a Rage Zombie in as little as 5 seconds.

The other “feature” of the Rage Zombie is it’s speed. These guys can move fast! I’m not talking that they can stumble quickly, I’m talking running! These guys have more stamina than a marathon runner, and can chase you down until you collapse from being too tired!

The Rage Zombie is definatly a more modern take on the traditional term of “Zombie”, but a zombie it is none-the-less.

Preview of What is a Zombie? Part Five:
The Viral Zombie.

The Toxic Zombie

These are the guys in which the Zombie Parody was born. These are the guys that roam around muttering things like “brrraaaiiiinnnnsss”, and “send more brains”, and “get the damn screwdriver outta my head!”. The Toxic Zombie is something created from a government experiment gone wrong. Back in the late 50′s and early 60′s the government stuffed these bodies into canisters and decided to store them in different places throughout the world. The toxins that built up within those canisters kept the corpses “alive”.

One such movie depicted this very scenario, Return of the Living Dead. It was campy, but a moderate success that spawned more than one sequel. The Toxic Zombie is the origin of zombies craving brains instead of any fleshy substance.

Usually the Toxic Zombie will shamble about, but is easy recognized as it is in a constant state of “wet”. That is, it is constantly dripping ooze and toxins. It also takes top consideration when spreading the “zombie effect” to other species. You don’t hear much about zombie birds, or zombie dogs, or zombie elephants, but if you do hear of them, it is as a direct result of the Toxic Zombie.

Toxic Zombies don’t usually move very fast, but they are strong. As with other forms of zombies they can be killed with a shot to the brain. However… Their influence does not end there. There is something far more sinister in their composition. When you burn a Toxic Zombie, the toxins can actually accumulate in the rising smoke and spread out over an area, pray it does not rain, for if it does, those toxins can be brought down with the rain and seep into the ground to “infect” more dead.

Preview of What is a Zombie? Part Four:
The Rage Zombie.

The Voodoo Zombie

I know that in reading over the posts in this blog, and even the items in our ZombieMall.com shop, you can tell that a lot of what is written is in jest. However, I do need to stress that the Voodoo Zombie is very much real.
Do you remember the movie that came out back in 1985 called Serpent and the Rainbow?
Based on VERY real events.
In essence the Voodoo zombie is a form of poison. There are ties to this form of zombie based in Africa as well as in Haiti. What happens is the “doctor” (a term I will use very loosely), afflicts the person with powerful drugs, rendering them into a state of total mind wipe. This “zombie” no longer has the ability for free will, instead is extremely succeptible to suggestion, almost like being hypnotized.
This “zombie” will now be told what to do, anything from working in a field picking crops to killing someone the “doctor” has run afoul with.
Much of this is also tied in to the Haitian culture and Voodoon religion, hence the term Voodoo Zombie.

Make no mistake, of all the zombies you hear about in fiction, this is one to be truely scared of, because at the end of the day, it is real. They may not creap up on you in the middle of the night, or try to eat your flesh, but they are a zombie none-the-less. Can you imagine having your very will ripped away, leaving you as a shell of your former self, being witness to your actions, but not having the ability to stop yourself from doing them?

That is truely frightening!

Preview of What is a Zombie? Part Three:
The Toxic Zombie.

This could be a long read folks…So I’m going to cut it down into smaller Parts for an easier read. In short I wanted to categorize what different types of zombies are out there so when you encounter one you know how to deal with the situation.

There is the Romero zombie (as seen in movies such as Night of the Living Dead and in the original Dawn of the Dead). They shamble around kindav slowly, looking for flesh to consume. Because of their slow moving nature, when they are in relatively small groups it is easy enough to navigate your way through them, even when you are on foot. Now, with that said, we have also seen the Romero zombie “evolve”, starting with the captured zombie in Day of the Dead, and extending out into the movie Land of the Dead. From this one we know that zombies can be distracted by fireworks. But.. What makes them evolved is that they appear to be thinking (well Big Daddy). He looked as if he could ignore humans if he wanted, as if he knew there was a trap. He was able to “teach” other zombies how to shoot a gun, and also made them realize that they can cross a river without drowning.

In short we have slow-moving, but able to sortav think, zombie that wants to eat flesh.
We have always been told that the best way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head. It certainly stands to reason that if you ever encounter a Romero type zombie, a shot to the head will kill it, and that navigating your way around them could be done with relative ease.

Preview of What is a Zombie? Part Two:
The Voodoo Zombie.