ZombieMall.com Blog

Howdy Folks! You like blood? Violence? Freaks of nature? Well then, come on and check out this new Captain Spaulding talking Plush Doll!

Intended for ages 18 and up. Recommended for mature collectors.

He has 1,000 roommates! From House of 1,000 Corpses, this Captain Spaulding Plush doll stands 15-inches tall and speaks a number of fun, scary movie phrases. What an adorable reject of the Devil! Cool sounding phrases include:

“Hold, hold it, hold it, for the love of Jane Russell’s big fat horses ass on toast, stop ringing that g*#%@#^ bell!”

“Ha ha, sh!& the bed! Well howdy folks come on in! Well…from the looks of them fancy britches and uh sassy little hairdos, ya’ll ain’t from around here, are ya? So where ya’ll from?”

“G!@#!@&%*^ mother$!@&%^ got blood all over my best clown suit!

This should be hitting our store sometime in October of 2008. We are looking at a retail price of $39.99

And don’t forget to take home some of my tasty fried chicken! Ha ha! It just tastes so damn good!

ZombieMall.com is proud to unveil it’s newest item, the Zombie Pillow! Be wary when you let your head rest down on this brain biter! Let everyone around you know how fearless you are when you show ‘em you are willing to risk sleeping with the undead!

Pillow measures just over 15″x15″ with the inner picture coming in at a whopping 11″x11″. Picture is applied via sublimation at about 400° F. Pillow case has a zipper on bottom so you can remove the pillow itself to wash the case (we recommend you invert the case before washing to prolong the “life” of the image).

You can see more details here in the ZombieMall.com Store.

No, I’m not talking about the movie Fido here! I’m talking about you being able to adopt your very own Pet Zombie! It’s completely safe and chances are it will just sit in one place and not harm anyone. Pet Zombies are virtually harmless! We are still working out the kinks on them, the last two that I had actually got up and began to stumble around the house before they made it into the backyard and tore down the neighbor’s fence and went after their dog…

That’s not the point.

The point is, I’m working on a new formula that will render the Pet Zombie in a catatonic state, will reduce their stench to almost nil, and will be the perfect pet for you! Hell, you won’t even need to feed it! We give it a good, healthy dose of brains before they get shipped and that will satiate their appetite for eternity!

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention! Your Pet Zombie will also come with it’s own Death Certificate of Authenticity!

Stay posted, pictures of the prototype should be posted very very soon!

You have wondered… Now it will be revealed! A Zombie Taco is fearless! A Zombie Taco is unafraid! A Zombie Taco has only one thing on it’s… mind… A Zombie Taco craves the company of a Zombie Hot Dog! Ladies, in our ZombieMall.com store we have the world famous Zombie Taco Thong (for those who crave adventure!), the Zombie Taco Ringer T-shirt, and the Zombie Taco Spaghetti Tank. Keep checking back because who knows where the next Zombie Taco will appear!

What the hell is a Zombie Hot Dog? Every guy should know the answer to this. They may not be aware of the term, but trust me, they already know what it is. Guys, what “little guy” is always up before you? What is always hungry for “flesh” early in the morning? What has an appetite that can usually only be quelled by the devouring of a nice Zombie Taco? Yeah, that’s your Zombie Hot Dog!
Now that you know what it is, head on over to our shop and get yourself a shirt and let the world know you happily sport your Zombie Hot Dog whenever the mood hits you! We have the Zombie HotDog Boxers, the Zombie Hotdog Hoodie, the Zombie Hotdog T-shirt, and the Zombie Hotdog Baseball style Shirt. Oh, and don’t worry ladies, we also have the Zombie Taco apparel just for you!

Quarantine looks to follow the tradition of hand-held movies such as Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, and Diary of the Dead.  I’m a sucker for those kinds of movies because they add an air of realism to what you are watching.  Growing up I made lots of stupid little home moves, from stop action Star Wars vs Star Trek to Batman vs G I Joe, to me just having fun with friends shooting film.  That’s what this type of movie reminds me of and why it seems to add realism to it when watching it. 
Besides, I cannot resist a good zombie flick.
The basic idea is that in an apartment complex in California something happens. Something nasty. The residents all turn up missing except for one, as a HAZMAT team attemps to rescue this one lone survivor, something goes wrong. Horribly wrong. Click the Trailer tab below to check it out!

Well, okay, so they don’t have a voice persay…  But here on the Zombie Mall Blog there will be many a topic devoted to those shambling mounds we call Zombies.  Zombies, those facinating creatures that wander around in search of flesh.  Yeah, this site will be for mature audiences only…