Retractable Vampire Fangs

Are you a fan of True Blood?  Head over heals in love with Dracula?  Infatuated with that twisted (vampires don’t sparkle!) thing called Twi…  Twili…  bah, Twilight?  Just want to enjoy your LARP a bit more?  Then you gotta check this shit out!

Can You Imagine having the ability to custom fit a pair of vampire Fangs and to make them appear & disappear? We Did! Introducing the ZombieMall Retractable Vampire Fangs.

Check out the video:

You can also find that video on YouTube and you can purchase these Retractable Vampire Fangs on ZombieMall.com.

Don’t forget, Halloween is just around the corner!

Dead Set review – sometimes you gotta leave Hollywood

Sometimes you gotta leave Hollywood behind.

Recently you will notice that most of my movie reviews have had me going off on how inadequate Hollywood has become.  I’ve had this one film sitting on my self for a good while now and tonight I finally watched it.  I am talking about is the TV mini-series written by Charlie Brooker called Dead Set.

dead set still

 

Based on a fictional set of Big Brother taking place in the United Kingdom, Dead Set pushes the envelop well beyond anything that American audiences could deal with on network television.  I’d wager good money that you would be hard pressed to find even a cable channel willing to air anything like this without toning down the gore and violence.  Perhaps on HBO or Cinemax.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about this film (I’ll call it a film even though it was originally aired over a 5 day period as a TV mini-series).

We begin with the setup; we are behind the scenes of a Big Brother episode.  It’s an eviction night and the producer, Patrick (Andy Nyman), is as about as rude as they come.  Sure he has pressure, but you learn to dislike him from the get-go.  Kelly (Jamie Winstone), is the gopher – go for this, go for that, get coffee, run some copies, etc.  You immediately like her (she is also the one in the photo above).

Okay, so the pressure is on, and one of the contestants is evicted.  There is a threat of a newscast preempting the show and that of course is the queue for zombies to show up.

What follows is a myriad of fast moving filming, (I will warn you that there is a lot of camera shaking, something I don’t mind as I feel it gives it a little more..  ‘you are really here with us’ type of feeling – but I can see where some would not like it and perhaps get a bit motion sick) general chaos, and bloody mayhem.

Listen, these are Zombie we are dealing with, not people who peddle flowers.  There is blood.  There is violence.  There are smashed skulls, ripped flesh, spilled entrails, and loads of chopped bodies.   When I say it’s gory, I mean it.  This guy is not Rated G.  It’s Rated R all the way.

The storyline is mediochre, it’s not original, but it’s presented in a very zombie-fan-fun way.  What I mean by that is, it’s about people trapped in a location and are held within because of well, zombies.

Now for the extra zombie-fan-fun part.  Although the film probably has nothing to do with it, I can certainly imagine that this takes place in the same time frame and universe that the Snyder version of Dawn of the Dead remake took place.  Even fits in perfectly with the 28 Days Later time frame.  Again, I’m not saying that’s what Dead Set is, it’s not.  I’m just saying that in my view it is easy to imagine them all taking place at the same time.

All in all, grab a copy and follow the instructions; watch it in wide-screen and in a darkened room.  If you are a zombie fan, this is a MUST SEE.

Zombie University to give away FREE Parking Pass

Tired of Zombie University Security harassing you when you drive onto campus?  Now all you need is to place this FREE Parking Pass in your window and they will leave you be!  Vicar de Mortii, Brian Hardin II, had this to say:

“Even I was not immune to Security, I can’t begin to count how many times over the years I’ve been stopped and I run this University!  Finally now I can park where I need to park and not be harassed!  It’s about damn time!”

You can download yours for FREE here: Zombie University Parking Pass Front  &  Zombie University Parking Pass Back

All you need to do is cut along the dotted lines.  For a better look and to prevent bleed-through print on card stock.

The Creeping Flesh Review

With my recent dissappointments with Hollywood, I decided to go Old School…

It starts off on a dark and stormy night…

Rain is pouring down outside, I had been promised a night out to a restaurant of my choosing, and then a night out to the movies. I picked that place where the big rat sings his ass off, you know the place, “where a kid can be a kid”.  I also picked the movie “Back to the Future” to go see.  I’m probably about 12 year old, which would have made the year 1985…  Having my fill of pizza and soda pop I am happily riding back in the car to head off to the movies.  Suddenly I get this weird feeling.  Something in my gut.  I speak up and tell my uncle that I don’t feel like going to the movies.  (In my mind I was swearing up and down that something horrid was going to happen at the movie theatre, I was convinced that a shoot out or a fire was going to break out)  He never questioned my reasoning for not wanting to go so we headed to my grandparents house.  They are gone for the weekend, but my uncle was house sitting for them, so that is where we went.  They had a garage so the only time we got wet was from the run from the restaurant to the car.

Once inside I plopped down on the couch and my uncle turned on the TV.  He was cool.  He would let me watch movies that my mom would never allow.  Porkies, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask, Various Monty Python movies, Benny Hill, The Exorcist, Amityville Horror, stuff like that.  Tonight was no different for it was the night I saw The Creeping Flesh for the first time…

 

creepflesh

In a way this movie helped to shape my view of the horror genre.  The Creeping Flesh, released in the USA the same year I was born, 1973 (which is why I’m a bit partial to it), was directed by Freddie Francis.  The two bigger names in the film were Peter Cushing (he plays Emmanuel Hildern) and Christopher Lee (plays Emmanuel’s brother James Hildern).

The movie starts off with a scientist, Emmanuel, telling a tale to a research assistant.  He recounts something that happened 3 years prior (1893).  He had just returned home from an expedition to New Guinea where he found the skeletal remains of a large humanoid creature, he reefers to it as a primitive man.  He further goes on to say that he has broken research that will reveal the “ultimate evil” and that the skeleton is the key to unlocking that evil.  We also learn that Emmanuel has a wife and a daughter (her name is Penelope).  His wife has been locked in an insane asylum, but the daughter was told that she died, for Emmanuel feared that she would not understand why her mother was locked away.  Emmanuel’s brother, James, runs the asylum.

Through flashbacks we learn that Emmanuel’s wife was not entirely crazy, rather she was more addicted to sex and during that time period (remember this is in the mid 1880′s) it is assumed that women who crave sex must be insane.  Fearing that Penelope is going to run into the same “sickness” as her mother, Emmanuel has forbidden her to leave the house for any lengths of time.  James then reports to Emmanuel that his was has died while being in the asylum.

Emmanuel sets to cleaning the skeleton and washes one of the fingers with water.  Oddly it begins to grow flesh upon that digit right before him.  Thinking quickly he snaps the finger off before the flesh can “creep” it’s way to the rest of the skeleton.  From that pulpy finger he extracts blood and discovers “black blood cells” that seem to devour the red blood cells.  He deduces that this is the very manifestation of evil itself.

From those black blood cells Emmanuel makes a serum as a “cure” for the biological evil.  During this time Penelope is showing major curiosities about her mother. Emmanuel decides to “inoculate” his daughter, but what it does to her is a far cry from purging her of evils.  She dons one of her mother’s dresses and rushes out into the night.  She uses her sexuality to lure a man close to her then proceeds to give him a brutal slaying.  Emmanuel rushes out into the night to find her, only to find a major thunderstorm beginning.

James, desperate to win a medical prize, decides to steal the skeleton.  Thunder is booming, lightning is flashing, rain is pouring down in torrents as the skeleton is taken from Emmanuel’s home and loaded into a horse drawn carriage.  Roads were evidently not the best back then, and because of a few ill-placed rocks the carriage is overturned exposing the skeleton to those torrents of raindrops.  Flesh begins to grow like wild, unleashing this walking “evil” unto the world.

The ending has a major narrative twist, something that the ending of Saw reminded me of the first time I saw it, but this would not be very interesting if I flat out gave that away.  This is a low budget film, and was made back in the early 1970′s, so viewers should watch it with a slight grain of suspension of disbelief.

When I heard this was coming out on DVD a few years back, I was at my local movie store and bought the first copy.  I had not seen it since that night at my grandparents back in the 80′s and feared I had made it out to be something far more spectacular that I thought it was at the time.  I brought it home and watched it and was not disappointed.  It is now on my mandatory movies to watch each and every Halloween.