Wed. Jun 19th, 2024


Zombie Cars on the Highway

Part of my day to day job is to drive.  I’m a vendor to several different retail stores and I simply go from store to store, training them, helping them, and educating them on the new products that have come out.  Today my drive took e a short 100 miles North of the ZombieMall.  Close to my destination I passed an overturned gas truck in a ditch on the side of the road (no-one was hurt or even injured!).  There were a few guys standing around it, looked like they were assessing the situation, each was wearing County Crew Neon Orange and Yellow vests.

I spent about 6 hours at my destination and hopped back in the car to come home.  I made it about 30 miles and found myself at a traffic standstill on a two lane backwoods Arkansas highway.  The same one that I took a mere 6 hours earlier.

I could see a Sheriff’s truck up ahead, blue lights flashing.  At first I assume it’s a sobriety checkpoint, but logic quickly sets in on that fleeting thought and I realize they would not set up such a checkpoint in the middle of a state highway.  No, it has to be that overturned gasoline truck from earlier.

Woods are on either side of me, a tiny church off to the left.  A few cars are turning around, but I need to go the way I was headed so I stay in line.  A little time passed and more cars have turned around.  I find myself 3rd in line and law enforcement approaches.  My engine has been off for a bit at this point, my window down slightly.

“Is it zombies?”  I ask.

He laughs.

It’s the overturned truck, just as I had thought.  They have another gasoline truck up there trying to pump all the gas out of the overturned one.  They have to do that first before they can turn it over and try to tow it off.  Approximate wait, 2 more hours.  No worries, I can wait.  Hell, if I did turn around it would take me 4 hours to drive to a point where I could meet up with another joining highway to take me home.

I begin to look around again and a thought occurs to me.

How many zombie movies have I seen in which the sole survivors are driving along and they reach an area full of standstill cars blocking the way?

Oh shit!  This is my situation!  I’m in that area full of standstill cars!  This is how it happens!

Then another thought:

What would I do if zombies started pouring out of these woods right now?  What survival tools do I have in the car within arm’s reach?

A quick look around…

3 empty plastic water bottles, some fast food napkins, my work lanyard and name badge (yay, they’ll know my name at least), a couple of CDs, a small pack of gum, a pen, my cell phone, some loose change, wires from my SiriusXM radio, and a towel.  In the backseat I find two toy cars, a baseball, a couple of sheets of paper (which is what I use to write this out on), and a box of plastic forks.

In other words.. I’m fucked.

Yeah, I’ve got a tire iron in the trunk, I might be able to get at it from the back seat (they let down from the inside), but as for what’s in immediate arms reach, I’ve got nothing.

I could use the CDs as a mirror signal, I could certainly make use of my cell phone, the baseball could be used as a makeshift weapon, the lanyard and wires could certainly be useful.  There is a cigarette lighter hole, but I use it as a power source for the radio.  Who knows what happened to the actual lighter, it was misplaced years ago.

Next time you get into your ride, take a look around.  See what you have within arms reach should you find yourself stuck on the highway surrounded by zombies.

Yeah, if I get out of this, which I have since you are reading this on the website, I’ve got to remedy this situation.

What would you add to your ride?  Something that could be legal (if cops found it they would not take it or arrest you), and something you could leave in there at all times.

Give me your thoughts.