Saw 8 Teaser Poster for Halloween of 2017??

what am I looking at here??



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Dead Things Board Game ZombieMall Scenario

For a couple of posts now, I’ve been posting about this cool new game, Dead Things, that I have been playing.

A day or so ago we decided to tailor the game to reflect ZombieMall.  That is, we came up with our own scenario, which is one of the kick-ass elements of this game; you don’t have to play the same game each and every time!  You can easily change things up, move tiles around, add more zombies (or not have as many), have less cars, hell, the possibilities are endless.

Okay, so here is our scenario (you can also scroll to the bottom and watch my video of the scenario rules):

ZombieMall Scenario:

The board is set up using the following tiles:

Best Defense Guns

The Hair Apparem

Books! Books! Books!

Muy Muy Donuts

3 “alley” tiles

1 “parking” tile

Line them up as shown in the photo:


Note: I’ve turned the Donut shop so that the doors line up.  All of the doors are locked.

You will use only 1 car and it should be the one that is Gas, No Keys.

In this scenario, we are only using 3 players, although you can easily alter it to have more or less.  Whichever character is not used is considered dead and that character token should be placed in an empty building.  The living characters always start off in the Gun Shop.

Normally Stuff Tokens would be placed on the Stuff Squares, but in this scenario they are instead placed around the dead characters.  You cannot use your turn to search and reveal all the stuff.  For example, if you run across Clyde’s dead corpse and it has 3 Stuff Tokens, then that would take 3 turns to reveal what is there.

Here’s where it gets fun…

At the beginning of each Phase beyond 0 (in other words, at the beginning of Phase 1, the beginning of Phase 2, etc.) One fallen character will reanimate and come after you!  They can move the same as living characters, 3 squares, and they will remove 2 Luck Tokens.  Yep, there is the potential for an instant death!  Just pray you are not in the middle of searching when you turn over that End Turn card!

In this scenario, you will not use the Gas Token (because we already know the car has gas in it).

If you find the Keys -1 Luck token, that’s too bad.  That’s the wrong key to start the car.  Perhaps instead those keys will open a locked door to one of the buildings.  The only key that will start the car is on the token simply called Keys.

The board starts with 5 zombies outside, placed on random refuse squares, and 5 zombies inside, placed close to the fallen characters.

Victory Conditions: Find the keys and drive away!


Now for the video explanation:

Enjoy the Scenario and have fun playing the game!

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Dead Things : The Zombie Board Game (a review)

Wherein we avoid zombies and try to keep the group alive…

(oh, and I’ve got a sneaky bonus for you all towards the end of this review!)

You guys saw my post a few days ago where I was having a mess-load of fun listening to the Dead Things Audio Stories…  Well, those stories took place in the universe of Dead Things, a zombie board game.

Yeah!  I know!

Okay, so check this out..

To help promote the board game the designer came up with short stories about the events within the game, as well as stories about the characters within the game!  These tales are done in audio format (you can check them out on my link above) and it just adds more fun to the game itself.


Dead Things is a zombie based board game, but it is oh so much more than that.

Listen, this game is beyond easy to learn, but don’t let that fool you, it’s damn difficult to keep everyone alive.

Okay, it breaks down like this..

You have several tiles (they are double sided so you can mix and match and create your own scenarios) that are placed together to make up the board itself.

What you see here is the basic game scenario all set up.  We are currently in Turn 4 of Phaze 0.


Now that you have a visual, allow me to pause a moment and explain a couple of things.

The objective is to keep your group alive.  It’s an all or nothing, either you all survive, or you all die.

How do you survive or win the game?

That’s the easy part.  See those blue cars?  Those car cards are double sided.  On the opposite side is what is inside the car.  To win, you have to get into a car and drive away.  I told you it was easy!

Okay, so there is a catch..  The cars either have the keys in them, and no gas, OR they have gas in the tank but no keys.  Oh, and there might be a zombie in some of them (and it gets a free automatic attack on you).  SO.. you have to run around and search (you may also note there are some small tiles with a large ‘S’ on them – no, Superman does not swoop down and fly you to safety – that ‘S’ stands for stuff) for either gas or keys.  Once you have either the gas for the car that is missing gas, or keys for the car that is missing keys, the rest of you have to make it to the car and you win!  However, should even just one of you get overtaken by zombies.. you all lose.  That’s the deal, all or nothing.

Is it just a one bite and you are a goner?



Shown above are your character cards.  They also correspond to blue figures on the board itself.  What you can see on the cards are Luck tokens.  If you lose all 3, then you die.  That effectively means you can be hit by 3 zombies before you die.  You cal also take a turn and do nothing to regain a Luck token.  Beware, though, some of the Stuff tokens may cause you to lose luck, and some of the cars may as well!


I tell ya what.. take a look at this video made by the designer of Dead Things, David.  He can much better explain the rules:

Listen, this game is beyond fun.  It doesn’t take too long to play, and if you are a fan of the zombie genre then you are going to LOVE this game.

To check out the official website and buy the game, check out:

Also, if you want to connect with them:

Hit their Facebook page: DeadThingsGame Facebook


Find them live (er.. dead…) on Twitter: DeadThingsGame Twitter

Now.. for that sneaky bonus…

The 3rd Audio Story was released today: Dead Things: A Small Deposit.  In this we hear of Clyde’s tale and how he came to be a character in the game.

Stay tuned, I’ve got a couple of surprises left still for Dead Things, so keep checking back, you never know what may dig itself up from the dirt!

1,057 total views, 5 views today

Dead Things Audio Stories by DM Fitzgerald

Going back to my youth (but I promise you I’m not old) I always enjoyed listening to radio shows.  It was kindav like reading, but different.  What I really liked about listening was leaning back with some headphones on, closing my eyes, and visually imagining what was going on.  I’ve always gotten a kick out of that.

The first in depth radio show that I got really interested in was produced by ZBS Radio and was presented as The Fourth Tower of Inverness, The Continuing Adventures of Jack Flanders.  Jack was also featured in several other radio shows by ZBS, Dreams of India, Midnight at the Casa Luna, among others.

From there a one-hit-wonder came out in the early 80’s from a group called 2-Nu.  You probably remember the “song” called Ponderous (This is ponderous man, really ponderous..).  The entire album was essentially 3 or 4 minute stories set to music.  I was insane for this kind of thing.  I loved it!

Over the years there were a few more of these mish-mash of radio show/music story tales that would pop up, but they just didn’t really capture my imagination like Jack Flanders did.

Then in 2007 I was introduced to Michael Arnzen and his “spoken narrative” CD Audio Vile.  I was totally blown away, as evident of my interview with him.

Okay, so what does all of this have to do the title of this article, Dead Things Audio Stories bu DM Fitzgerald?

All of what was written above was simply an introduction to the newest thing to blow me away.  Over the next few weeks I am going to present to you a new world of zombie.  I don’t want to put all of my cards onto the table in one post, but I will show you the full hand during the month of April (and I may spill a little more info at the end of this article).

For now, I want to present to you Dead Things Audio Stories.

First, allow me to go off onto a small tangent.  Dead Things is a board game.  A zombie board game.

What?  Did you think I was going to post a big topic like this about a game where you buy up property and charge rent?  Hell no!

Dead Things is a board game, but that’s not the focus of this article.  No (but don’t worry, you’ll get an article on that soon enough).

What is the focus is Audio Stories.

Audio Stories is an introduction to the board game, Dead Things.  It’s a radio show that introduces you to the idea within the game.  It’s the game world setup.  Not a ‘how to’, mind you, but rather a tale that explains what’s going on.

DM Fitzgerald wrote Dead Things: The Trophy.  It starts off as a rescue mission and explains right off the bat that zombies are already a thing.  There are two parts to this tale, each one running right at 6 minutes.

New episodes are scheduled to be released around the 15th of each month (which means a new one should be out soon!).  I’ve been told that episodes 3 through 8 will provide to you character introductions and why they are in the game, and why they fight the way they fight.

I want to pause here a moment to let you reflect on that.  Future episodes will go into the story of the characters within the game.  How effing cool is that?

Talk about immersive!

Okay, enough of my blathering.  Wanna give these Audio Stories a listen?

Pop on your best headphones and give them a listen!

Dead Things: The Trophy (part 1)


Dead Things: The Trophy (part 2)


The 3rd story, A Small Deposit, should be out within a few days.  I’m excited, if you can’t tell, and am greatly looking forward to these tales.  There is something about this format that really gets my creative juices flowing..

Okay, so here is the plan..  At some point next week I will give a full review (and a freaking video!) of the game itself (Dead Things).  I literally just got the game in the mail mere moments before I started writing this sentence, and let me tell you.. it looks AWESOME.

I am also looking to get the expansion deck and will do an article on that as well.

To top things off, towards the end of the month I am trying to set up an interview with the creator of the game, DM Fitzgerald to go up onto my podcast over on!

Hell, let’s just call the month of April my Dead Things month!

To check out the official website check out: (more on that game next week!)

Also, if you want to connect with them:

Hit their Facebook page: DeadThingsGame Facebook


Find them live (er.. dead…) on Twitter: DeadThingsGame Twitter



887 total views, 9 views today

Horror Block March 2016 Unboxing & Review

Today we are doing the unboxing and review of the March 2016 Horror Block!  Keep in mind that they are a month behind, so even though this month is April, we are just now getting the April Horror Block.

I got an email about a week ago asking me if Horror Block does themes.

Horror Block doesn’t exactly do themes (unless you want to count the fact that it’s horror) in that they do not get into specifics; like… This month is all about vampires, or This month’s theme is all about werewolves.  I think it’s wise of them to disregard a specific theme as it gives them a chance to really randomize the goodies, not to mention, what if I just don’t like werewolves?  By giving the block a theme I think they would really limit themselves.  What they DO do, however, is hint as to what item you may find in the box (IE next month they are reporting to have something from Hellraiser in the box).

Anyways, I just wanted to answer that email for everyone to read.

Okay, you guys know the drill, but I still gotta point it out.. Horror Block touts to cram over $60.00 value into a $20.00 box.  We shall see.  I’ll break down each item and list what one can find it for price wise online.


Before we jump into the box this go-around, I want to link here my unboxing video:

Okay, let’s jump into the box! Read more »

716 total views, 2 views today

Horror Block February 2016 Unboxing & Review

This unboxing and review is a little late, because, well, evidently a train derailed somewhere in or around Hodkins, IL.


Anyways, I digress.  Today we are doing the unboxing and review of February 2016’s Horror Block!  Keep in mind that they are a month behind, so even though today is March, we are just now getting the February Horror Block.

You guys know the drill, but I still gotta point it out.. Horror Block touts to cram over $60.00 value into a $20.00 box.  We shall see.  I’ll break down each item and list what one can find it for price wise online.

I also need to break a few people who have yelled at me via email, chat messages, and twitter that Nerd Block (the parent company of Horror Block) never states how much value the boxes contain and that my reviews are unfair because I mention a $60.00 value.  Allow me to direct you to a screen shot that I took today of their Google Ad:


Sorry guys, guess someone has to eat their words.  Says right there, $60 of Value Delivered.



Let’s get into the box now.


As with each box there are a few nifty items and a few not-so-nifty items.  As per previous unboxing reviews, I’ll break down the items and their value.

We’ll start with..

Daryl Dixon T-Shirt:


At first glace this is just a neat looking shirt.  We have Daryl’s Wings (from his vest) on it, along with a skull and an arrow.  But let’s look closer… Does this actually predict his demise?  Is this Daryl’s skull we are looking at with an arrow in it from his stolen crossbow? Is that what we are looking at?  Probably not, I just got a little anxious with the hype there.  You can clearly see a ‘ W ‘ carved into the skull, which means that this shirt was probably designed back when The Wolves were a big deal (I just wonder if The Wolves were “scouts” of sorts for Negan).  Anyways.. the shirt LOOKS like it should glow in the dark, but sadly, it does not.

Value: $15.00 (based on other similar styled t-shirts)

Zombie Bottle Opener:


This is by far the coolest item in this month’s Horror Block box.  It’s resin and has some good weight to it.  It’s all silver colored (probably to make it appear to be aluminum).  I’m not too keen on the silver, so I may repaint it.  The bottle opening device is situated inside the mouth and is held in place with two tiny screws.  It’s not exactly small enough to fit into your pocket, but it certainly makes a fun addition to your home bar.

Value: $10.00 (I found a much more detailed resin version on Amazon and it was a bit larger and multi-colored – so I cut it’s price in half to determine the value of this one)

Zombie Wine Stopper:


Made of silicone this zombie finger wine stopper should fit most wine bottles (and won’t do you any good at all if you drink your wine from a box).  It may even fit into most soda bottles.  Personally, I don’t get the point of this one, but meh.  It’s a little neat.  And yes, I’ll mention it now, I’m sure some of you out there will find a totally different use for this… finger…  sickos.

Value: $7.00 (found VERY similar style of wine stopper on various other sites online for same price)

Zombie Eggpocalypse Egg Cup, Spoon, & Toast Cutter:


…  really?  And I thought the wine stopper was pointless..   I might get use out of the toast cutter.. actually, no, I won’t.  You put an egg in it, use the shovel to eat the runny thing, and use the toast cutter to cut your toast into a sword, a baseball bat, a gun, or an axe so you can dip the toast into the opened egg.  Note: This contraption ONLY works if you eat your eggs RAW or Soft Boiled.

Value: $10.00 (seriously, you can get this on Amazon for ten bucks)

Chopping Block Poker Cards:


Everyone needs a good deck of poker cards.  You can play anything from Go Fish to Poker to Solitaire. Problem is, as mentioned, everyone needs a good deck of poker cards, therefore, I’ve already got a good deck of.. well.. poker cards.  Still, this is not as goofy as the egg thing.

Value: $8.00 (you can buy various themed poker cards pretty much anywhere for eight bucks)

Rue Morgue Magazine Issue #164:


Fun read and a must have for any horror fan.  Keeps you up to date on all the latest horror news and soon to be out horror movies.  Well.. as up to date as a magazine can be.  Still, it’s a great read when you are on the crapper!

Value: $10.00 (yeah, I rounded it up by five cents)

Overview & Preview Card:


Overview card simply shows you what all is in the box.  Preview card tells me that next month (March’s Horror Block) will contain something from The Ring.  I also happen to know it will also contain something zombie themed!

Value: $0.00

To Recap:

Daryl T-Shirt: $15.00

Zombie Bottle Opener: $10.00

Zombie Pleasure Thumb Wine Stopper: $7.00

Zombie Eggpocalypse: $10.00

Chopping Block Poker Cards: $8.00

Rue Morgue Issue #164: $10.00

Total Value:  $60.00

$60.00 is exactly what they claim to cram in the box! Two thumbs up for me!  As always, I’m not excited for every item in the box, but the value is there regardless.  I’m looking forward to the next box, hopefully we will see a Funko Pop! figure from The Ring, that would be cool.

Until then, feel free to check out my unboxing video for this Horror Block as well:

To close this out, while I cannot see a use for the Zombie Eggpocalypse, I will find a way to use the zombie bottle opener and I’ll certainly play around with the zombie finger wine stopper (no, I will not be using it as a masterbatory device) and figure out some creative way to display it.  All in all, a fun box this month!


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Zombie Shaming

The Zombies were bad tonight.  They must be getting excited for the return of The Walking Dead…

zombie shaming

987 total views, 6 views today

Horror Block January 2016 Unboxing

Has it really been a month since I posted something on here?  EEK!  I need to get on top of that!

Okay, so here we go, we have a new Horror Block to unbox and review!

This time it is January 2016’s block, and I still have my main complaint, it’s February 2nd when I got the bloody box!  Okay, not really so much of a complaint as it is that I just don’t quite understand why they call it that.  Seems to me it would make more sense to call it February’s Horror Block.. but I digress..

You guys know the drill, Horror Block touts to cram over $60.00 value into a $20.00 box.  We shall see.  I’ll break down each item and list what one can find it for price wise online.

Let’s check it out!


They Live T-Shirt:


This month is John Carpenter’s birthday month (January 16, 1948) and this shirt was distributed to celebrate what he as done for the horror industry.

Value: $15.00 (compared to other sites selling similar themed horror tshirts)

Creepy Baby Doll Head:


There is a very popular baby doll called Baby Alive. I am aware of it, but I don’t know too terribly much about it, I think those dolls piss and shit or something.  Anyways, this one is playfully named Baby Eat You Alive.  It is also a Horror Block Exclusive item. This is pretty cool and even thought it’s just a piece of plastic, I think I’ll call it Casey.

Value: $10.00 (based on similar sized baby doll heads found online – and holy hell just plain ones are creepy when you see them all nested together in google images!)

Gravestone Phone Holder:


Another Horror Block exclusive, this is a neat item, but it has some balance issues.  It held my iTouch just fine, but when I placed my slightly heavier cell phone in it, it kept wanting to topple forward, a crafty person could probably cut open the tombstone and add some weight to it.  This plastic holder has a hole in the bottom for the charge cable and it can stay well hidden.  The only issue I have is the hand and flower are really obtrusive and if I get a text or call I can’t just swipe to respond as the hand and flower are kindav in the way.

Value: $10.00 (based on similar plastic phone holders found online)

Meat Cleaver Keychain:


Another Horror Block exclusive, this is a small zinc plated keychain in the form of a meat clever.  A meat cleaver is almost the very definition of horror! This item was made by PennyRoyal Studio (and they make some high-end stuff usually out of gold or silver).

Value: $10.00 (based on several of similar styles found online)

Carrie Film Cell Bookmark:


Film Cell stills were HUGELY popular from about the mid 80’s to the late 90’s.  Somewhere I still have some from Star Trek, Star Wars, X-Files, and a few other lesser known movies.. Now I can add one from Carrie to my collection!  I’d be REALLY interested to see all the variations of this that other Horror Block subscribers got.

Value: $6.00 (there is someone on Etsy right now selling these so my value is based on that – I’d love to know how they got access to all these film cells!)

Blood in Four Colors Rue Morgue:


This month, instead of the latest issue of Rue Morgue Magazine, we received Blood in Four Colors, a graphic history of horror comics.  Listen, screw being disappointed in getting the magazine this month, this sucker is mega-wicked-cool!  It’s a massive 130 pages, so it’s a good thing I’ve got a Carrie book mark!  Now, if you REALLY want your magazine fix… check out the Overview Card…

Value: $14.95 (’cause it says so right on the cover)

Overview & Preview Card:


Overview Card:

This card explains the overview of everything in the box.  But look closer!  It also tells us that we can grab a complimentary edition of SCREAM Magaine!  That means, FREE!

Value: $9.00 (I kindav have to value this at 9 bucks because of the Scream Magazine – that’s how much it would cost to get it otherwise)

Sneak Preview Card:

This card tells that we can expect something from Walking Dead, the next issue of Rue Morgue and more in the next Horror Block.

Value: $0.00


To Recap:

Shirt: $15.00

Casey Doll Head: $10.00

Gravestone Cell Holder: $10.00

Meat Cleaver Keychain: $10.00

Carrie Film Cell Bookmark: $6.00

Blood in Four Colors Mag: $14.95

Scream Magazine Digital Copy: $8.99

Total Value: $74.94

$74.94 hits a fair amount over the $60.00 they claim to cram into the box!  Two Thumbs up for me!  I may not be too excited for everything in this box, but there is some cool stuff in it.

You can also check out my unboxing video of this box over on youtube (or right here):

In closing, when I saw in last month’s Horror Block that we were going to get something from Carrie, I mentioned that I didn’t exactly care.  Okay, I admit, I was wrong.  The bookmark was really cool!  I’ll have some fun with this baby doll head, and the cell phone holder (after some tweaking) will be pretty cool too.  I’m already looking forward to the next Crate!

1,109 total views, 8 views today

Horror Block December 2015 Unboxing

First off, I have a gripe about Horror Block.  Supposedly what I am reviewing today is the December 2015 Horror Block.  As you can tell this is being posted on January 6th 2016.  Yes, they do ship it out in December, but still…  It just seems to me to be a bit of wasted marketing.  If they are targeting it for that specific month and are basing it’s theme according to the month, by the time we get these, then the month in which it is supposed to reflect is already over…  Anywho…  If I had to guess, I’d suspect that the delay has everything to do with the issue of Rue Morgue Magazine that is included in each box.. so.. I’ll jump off my soapbox now.

Horror Block touts to cram over $60.00 value into a $20.00 box.  We shall see.  I’ll break down each item and list what one can find it for price wise online.

Let’s check it out!


Wes Craven Tribute T-Shirt:

This is pretty cool.  We have monsters from Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream, The Hills Have Eyes,  Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and more.

Value: $15.00 (compared to other sites selling similar themed horror tshirts)


Rue Morgue Magazine Issue 163:


I love the magazine, and there is not a book store within 150 miles of me that even carries magazines anymore! WTF!!!  Anyways, I could always subscribe direct with Rue Morgue and it would cost me roughly $6.80 an issue.  As it is, however, the cover price (and what you would pay in the book store) is a little higher.

Value: $9.95


Freddy Krueger Plush:


He measures just shy of 8″ tall.  His claw is fabric, and is a Horror Block Exclusive.  Doesn’t really do anything else, it’s just a plush toy.

Value: $10.00 (based on other similar style horror plush toys found online)


Zombie Hula Girl:


This little hula zombie girl is really cool.  She hula’s back and forth just like the old 60’s version.

Value: $8.00 (based on similar hula sized dash toys found online)


Daryl Dixon Keychain:


From Funko Pop! (and we LOVE Funko’s products here at ZombieMall) is a small keychain of The Walking Dead’s Daryl Dixon.  He doesn’t have his crossbow on him (maybe Dwight has it), He DOES have his crossbow on his back, but it’s super small (I didn’t see it at first) and a small sticker states that this is a Horror Block Exclusive.  It’s the same figure, pose and look, as you would find normally, but this exclusive version has flecks of blood on him as if he has recently killed a zombie.

Value: $6.00 (based on the same figure found on other sites like Amazon, Hastings, etc)


Cthulhu vs Godzilla Art:


This is a 7″ x 10.5″ thin cardboard print of two titans battling it out.  Both come from the sea, but who will win?  The artist is Paul Hanley and this has a date of 2012 on it.  I’m pretty sure Paul blitzed this across Deviant Art but it’s still VERY cool to see artists works in my hand rather than online.

Value: $10.00 (while I can’t find this exact print online for SALE I did find similar for about ten bucks)


Overview Card:

This card explains the overview of everything in the box.

Value: $0.00


Sneak Preview Card:

This card tells that we can expect something from Carrie, something from Possessed, next issue of Rue Morgue, and more in the next Horror Block.

Value: $0.00


Earn Cash Card:

This card just tells you that if you talk others into subscribing to any of the various Nerd Block subscription boxes, then for each one that signs up you will get $5.00 to go towards your next box.

Value: $0.00


To Recap:

Shirt: $15.00

Magazine: $9.95

Plush: $10.00

Hula Girl: $8.00

Daryl: $6.00

Art: $10.00

Total Value: $58.95

$58.95 hits pretty damn close to the $60.00 they claim to cram into the box!  Thumbs up for me!  I may not be too excited for everything in this box, but there is some cool stuff in it.

You can also check out my unboxing video of this box over on youtube (or right here):

While I don’t exactly care too much for whatever the Carrie item is going to be in next month’s (it had best not be a damn tampon either!) I am looking forward to the box just the same.



1,939 total views, 1 views today

Krampus – My Review & WTF!?!!

With a lackluster Halloween for new horror movies, I had heard about Krampus coming out for a Christmas time release.  I admit I was not expecting much from it, and initially I wasn’t going to even bother trying to see it, but there was a hunger in the back of my mind that was needing some movie horror.

A buddy of mine sent me a text asking if I wanted to see it, and my hunger grew a little.  Hey, it’s always a bit more fun to see a movie with someone, especially a horror.

1st, Krampus is a tale of an anti-Santa.  A dark spirit of what Santa is.  Krampus is a demon of sorts that is summoned when people stop believing in Santa.

2nd, it’s something I’ve heard in passing over the years, but never really took much notice, I figured it was just a goofy tale that some random person made up on the spot and it kindav took hold.  Krampus (the tale) is very real, at least as real as the tale of Santa.  It is unclear how far back the folklore on Krampus goes, but some suppose it goes as far back at the 17th century.

3rd, December 5th is celebrated in parts of Europe as Krampus Night, or Krampusnacht.  Look it up.  Strange stuff.

4th, something really messed up happened in the movie theater that I went to see Krampus in (I’ll get to that in a moment).

The Movie:


As I mentioned, I was not expecting too much from Krampus.  It didn’t take itself too seriously, and a fair amount of ‘camp’ was to be expected.  For some reason I kept wanting to call it Krumpus or Kramps.  I’m not sure why, but I just could not make the name stick in my mind.

The opening, accompanied by Bing Crosby’s It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas, depicts the crazy holiday shoppers running each other over to get to all the holiday deals on Black Friday (the Friday following Thanksgiving), although in this movie it seems to take place around December 19th or 20th.

As detailed in the folklore, the movie follows Max, a young boy, who has lost his hope for Christmas and is starting to doubt the existence of Santa.  His extended family comes to visit (which is almost a direct display of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, right down to the dinner) and he is teased about writing a letter to Santa.  Committing a “F.U.” to believing in Santa, Max rips up the letter and tosses it into the night air.  This seems to be what summons Krampus.

A Sidenote:

At this point we are about 20 minutes or so into the movie, and scary thoughts are starting to flood my mind, I am finding it a little difficult to concentrate on the movie because I’m actually starting to pay more attention to what is beside me…

The Movie (back on track):

Max wakes the next morning to see that a nasty blizzard has hit his town.  Things start to pick up from here.  His sister decides to run off into the blizzard to go to her boyfriend’s house because he is not answering skype (and plus she wants to get away from the nagging extended family).  Her parents let her because the boyfriend only lives 4 blocks away…  But there is a whiteout blizzard outside, so intense that they cannot even see across the street, but they let her go out anyways…

I don’t suppose it would be much of a movie if no one took a risk though..

From there it just goes from bad situation to worse for the dysfunctional family.

Another Sidenote:

What in the holy hell happened in here???

The Movie (yeah, let’s get back to the movie):

Krampus and his minions somehow take down the entire neighborhood, which we don’t really get to see, then they go after Max’s family.  The family tries to fight for their lives in a battle of hope vs despair.

In the end, I have to admit that Krampus was actually a fun ride for what it was.  It was not an out and out horror.  It was a comedic horror.  The script was not bad, the acting was entertaining, the music was REALLY good, and there were very few “super quiet then suddenly something jumps out of the darkness followed by intense loud sounds and/or music just to make the audience jump” moments, and I applaud them for that.

I realize I have aired some complaints about the film, and I admit that I do have a few, but that’s me.  I’m grumpy sometimes and sometimes I overreact.  I will say, that Krampus has made me reevaluate my holiday spirit, and I have to admit, that’s pretty damn impressive.  Based on that alone, I’d have to recommend seeing Krampus.

Forget the Sidenotes now:

What in the hell happened in this movie theater???

The moment I walked into the theater’s seating room, something was wrong.  There was caution tape wrapped around three rows of chairs, a total of 12 chairs were cautioned off.  One of the chairs had a large black garbage bag covering it.


Did we just walk into a murder scene that the theater was too lazy to clean up?

Was this their attempt to get into the Halloween spirit to scare people? Can’t be that, Halloween was a month previous!

All during the movie, I found it very difficult to concentrate on what was going on on-screen because my thoughts kept turning to wondering how many people died next to where I was sitting… And yes, I HAD to sit right next to the cautioned seats…

After the movie was over, I looked up to the ceiling to see if there was any water damage, but I could see nothing up there.


What about that trash bag on that one seat??  Did someone crap themselves?  Someone bleed all over it?  Was there mold all over it?

I mean.. in all fairness, I didn’t see any blood on the floor.. but still…

Surely if it was anything that my imagination conjured up then the theater would have simply closed off this entire room… wouldn’t they?


Naturally I had to jump the caution tape and get a picture…


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